Monthly Archives: July 2014

What to Do When Your Life is Turned Upside Down

10479723_862760080419881_4030678774362004685_n Living a spiritual life, becoming aware and listening within, is an accelerated path of growth and evolution. Sometimes this journey inspires peaceful, joyous and lofty thoughts, feelings and experiences, but not always. Along the way you are likely to experience times of sudden and unexpected change and confusion.

I recently saw a client, a woman about to turn forty, whose world and marriage was turned upside down by an overwhelming and unexpected attraction to another man. The last time I saw Vicky was a couple of years ago. At that time she was happily married with two young children. Now confused and ridden with guilt over her affair, Vicky wanted to understand why she was drawn and magnetized to this man and what to do now that her life was in shambles.

Vicky is not alone. This kind of experience is more common than we would like to imagine. Many are jolted out of their predictable life by unforeseen and unexpected people and events. This might be spurred on by the entry of someone who stirs up unexpected feelings, the sudden loss of a job, failing or not getting into a long sought after program or opportunity, financial loss, being left, betrayed or finding out upsetting information about a loved one.

These cataclysmic occurrences, ignite and stir up new feelings and emotions that we cannot always explain. We no longer know who we are, why the unexpected is happening and what to do about it. There is a powerful force that seems to take over what we thought we wanted and steers us in a totally unexpected direction.
The Root of Change

The root of these life chaining events is within you. You have come into this life to fully experience who you are. You are here to evolve, develop compassion, practice forgiveness and to love and experience joy. If who you want to be and the life that you want to live is not in synch with your innermost truth, your desires will take constant effort to manifest. Even then they will require continued exhaustive energy and not be long lasting. Your powerful authentic self seeks to break down the barriers that limit your potential and the expression of your truth.

Vicky like many others, was not intentionally living a false life and suppressing her true thoughts and feelings. She was doing the best that she could to be a good wife and mother. She loved her family and was not looking to have an affair.

Yet, unexpected changes occur when we settle into a false life. We do not always know who we are and what we need. We are not so much trying to consciously control and limit ourselves, we just do not know the potential that lies within and our true purpose. Life shows us, often in unpleasant ways, what lies deep within our soul and psyche. Taken into places and situations that we would normally avoid, we are re-routed from the safety of our comfort zone and like a baby bird thrown out of the nest. We come to know who we are when we are pushed and prodded to change and grow. Under normal circumstances we would not choose to be tested in these ways. We avoid change and do all we can do to control our day to day circumstances.

If you find yourself in one of these kinds of life-altering situations here are a few helpful suggestions.

Do not try to control what is happening As much as you may not understand why and what you are going through, surrender and let go. When we resist and try to control ourselves and life, change only becomes harder. Once in motion transformation is inevitable.

Keep the focus on you and your process. As tempting as it is to blame or become preoccupied with outer events and other people, what is happening is about you. People and circumstances come along when we are ready for change. When we need a wake up call our soul creates the perfect experience to get our attention. Conditions will right themselves as you accept your lessons, evolve and transform.

Take time for yourself. Instead of trying to figure out what you may not yet be able to understand, accept your confusion and give yourself some time.

If you do not know what to do, do not do anything. You may need solitude to listen within and re-connect with your inner self.

Have compassion for yourself and the people in your life that are affected by what you are going through. Compassion is the ability to fully accept and love and care for yourself without judgment. Listen to others and accept the fear and pain that they may be experiencing. Listen to your own fear, doubt and stress and keep loving yourself.

Forgive yourself and forgive others. Even if you do not feel forgiving and especially loving. Use positive affirmations that support and spark your most wise and loving inner self.

Take baby steps and constantly assess how you feel. Know that it is all right to make mistakes, change your mind and feel differently from one moment to another. Do not make commitments or long lasting changes unless you feel a calm inner assurance that you are on the right path.

Notice new aspects of your personality and inner self that are emerging. Integrate these into your daily life. Listen to your heart and let it be your guide. Follow what helps you to feel centered, balanced, loving and calm.

Know that the confusion, the tumultuous events and changes, will pass. Wait out the storm. Clarity, renewed energy and a higher state of well-being and inner peace is on its way.
I gracefully accept change.

Psychic and Medium Sherrie Dillard is the author of the best selling Discover Your Psychic Type, Love and Intuition, The Miracle Workers Handbook and You Are A Medium. http://www.sherriedillard.com sgd7777@yahoo.com

Transform Doubt

sun Behind every genius idea, act of courage, work of art, budding love relationship and step into the unknown, doubt lurks. Following an ahha moment where the clouds of confusion part and we see with clear awareness, there often comes a time of questioning. Self-doubt can make you feel as if you are inwardly divided and at odds with what you know to be your truth. Your creative, inspired and intuitively insightful spirit and your cautious, fear based ego mind seem to be at war with one another. Which one you listen to and act from, depends in part of your past experiences and your self-awareness.
Doubt traps us in a small and dark corner. A form of judgment, doubt arises when we expect certain outcomes. For years I wanted to write a book. I had a lot of ideas, but whenever I started to write them down, I doubted my abilities. I would torture myself with questions like: What if I failed? What if I spend months and maybe years writing a book and I cannot get it published? What if no one reads it or likes what I write? My expectations were high. If I wrote a book I wanted it to be, published, read and successful. Doubts plagued me.
Lacking the conviction that I could be a successful writer, I turned my attention to other areas. I devoted myself to becoming a better and more accurate intuitive and medium and increasing my clientele. I also worked part time as an art therapist at a treatment center for troubled youth. It was in this unlikely environment that my fears and anxiousness about writing was transformed. A large part of my work as an art therapist involved creating stories. To keep the young people engaged and participating I had to creatively dig deep. When they enthusiastically engaged with one of my tall tales, usually an outrageous and ridiculous one, I quickly wrote it down. Hopeful that the next class would also find it as interesting, I began to write without noticing that I was writing. No longer feeling pressure to perform and be successful, my relationship to writing changed. Writing, I realized, helped me to feel alive, vibrant and full of energy. It was a transcendent experience where all of me came together with passion and purpose.
The dread of publishers, others opinions and my own perfectionist self-judgment began to fade and be less important. Writing was no longer felt like a choice. I wrote for my soul, it was the elixir that I needed to feel fully alive.
If doubt is plaguing you here are a few suggestions
Take a break and get away from the project or issue that you feel doubtful about.
Do something that helps you to feel confident and happy, It doesn’t matter what it is. Go for a walk, play your favorite sport, listen to music, watch a good movie or go to a museum.
Be honest about your expectations. Ask yourself the following questions. What are my expectations? Are they realistic? Am I expecting too much of myself”
Be with others who love and encourage you.
Share your feelings with someone that you can trust and who is supportive. Be careful not to confide in those who may have their own doubts and a negative perspective. Learn how to take care of yourself and share your dreams with those who have followed theirs.
Be with those who uplift you and will love you for who you are.
Listen within, for what is right for you.
Spend some time alone. Listen to your heart and your gut. Ask yourself: “If I knew that I would succeed and that everything is possible what would I do?
Trust your intuition.
Make plans and take baby steps.
Write down a plan for what you would like to accomplish and experience. Break it down into manageable steps. Give yourself small daily and weekly goals. Celebrate your progress. It you begin feel doubt take a time out. Refocus on what you have accomplished and what your next steps will be.
Give it your all and remember that choosing the safe sure thing does not necessarily mean that you will be happy, successful or better off. You cannot control outcomes, but you can choose to participate in what brings you joy and what feels right for you.