Have you ever been in a difficult situation or confronted an issue and as hard as you try and as much as you want to affect a positive outcome, you get nowhere? It is not always easy to know when we have done all that we can in any given situation. When we are frustrated, discouraged or disappointed, we tend to blame ourselves or others when things do not go the way that we want them to. An obstacle, relationship, skill or problem may seem to be stronger than we are. We may want to give up and walk away or we may obsessively keep trying to control and create change.
When you feel that you are banging your head against a wall or you are driving yourself crazy trying to control outcomes and conditions, consider surrendering. Surrender is not the same as giving up. Instead of struggling, surrender brings relief. It is the awareness that you are being redirected by a powerful and benevolent force of good. Surrender is the acceptance that what you desire, the problem that you want to solve, the relationship that you want to make work or the goal that you have set, is not in keeping with your highest good. With surrender you become empowered to release your worries, stress and anxiety and flow with the inner assurance that all is being worked out.
There are times when you need to try harder, learn a new way or give it your all. But, when you get that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach that what you desire is not meant for you, listen to it.
Surrender aligns you with your authentic self. It is not a battling against circumstances or a judgment of your inadequacies or another’s faults or problems. It allows you to see beyond the veil of your personal will and call forward your deeper truth and soul path. Surrender is a powerful statement to the universe that you accept its terms. Conditions and circumstances that you have been battling against and trying to control, transform. When you allow yourself to be led in what might appear to be the opposite direction, you often get what you want or something better. Surprising changes transpire as you accept others and conditions as they are.
Try these steps when you find yourself struggling and trying to control outcomes
Realize that there is another way. Take a step back and become aware of the struggle that you are engaged in. How does it feel? Are you getting what you want or becoming frustrated and discouraged?
Make a decision to detach It is not always easy to let go. Even when you do, you will likely want to jump back in. Make the intent to try another way. Pry your fingers off of your desires, breathe and let go.
Become comfortable with uncertainty and change. Once you let go, you will likely experience stress and anxiety. This is normal. These are the feelings that motivated you to try and control outcomes. Lean into the feelings and allow them to surface. As difficult as it may be, as you allow yourself to feel your feelings, they too will let go and dissipate.
Notice new direction. Take some time away from focusing on your issues and problems. Do something fun and relaxing. Make space for new direction to surface. Feel the flow of new energy. Open your heart, mind and spirit and pay attention to signs, dreams and synchronisities
Follow though on new direction as it presents itself. Even, if it is not entirely clear or what you want. Stay positive and keep listening within and allowing yourself to be led. Trust what comes your way and take action when you feel as if you are being led.
There is a pervasive and all-knowing power of wisdom and love at work in your life. Steer into this current. Let go of trying to control the outer events in your life and trust what comes your way. Support and reassure yourself when the unexpected happens, that this too shall pass. Surrender to what is, conditions will right themselves. It is often through what does not work that hidden aspects of our authentic self come to the surface and we are led to a better good than we thought possible. (from the book Discover Your Authentic Self)