Tag Archives: anxiety

Try Surrender

images Have you ever been in a difficult situation or confronted an issue and as hard as you try and as much as you want to affect a positive outcome, you get nowhere? It is not always easy to know when we have done all that we can in any given situation. When we are frustrated, discouraged or disappointed, we tend to blame ourselves or others when things do not go the way that we want them to. An obstacle, relationship, skill or problem may seem to be stronger than we are. We may want to give up and walk away or we may obsessively keep trying to control and create change.

When you feel that you are banging your head against a wall or you are driving yourself crazy trying to control outcomes and conditions, consider surrendering. Surrender is not the same as giving up. Instead of struggling, surrender brings relief. It is the awareness that you are being redirected by a powerful and benevolent force of good. Surrender is the acceptance that what you desire, the problem that you want to solve, the relationship that you want to make work or the goal that you have set, is not in keeping with your highest good. With surrender you become empowered to release your worries, stress and anxiety and flow with the inner assurance that all is being worked out. 

There are times when you need to try harder, learn a new way or give it your all. But, when you get that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach that what you desire is not meant for you, listen to it.

Surrender aligns you with your authentic self. It is not a battling against circumstances or a judgment of your inadequacies or another’s faults or problems. It allows you to see beyond the veil of your personal will and call forward your deeper truth and soul path. Surrender is a powerful statement to the universe that you accept its terms. Conditions and circumstances that you have been battling against and trying to control, transform. When you allow yourself to be led in what might appear to be the opposite direction, you often get what you want or something better. Surprising changes transpire as you accept others and conditions as they are.

Try these steps when you find yourself struggling and trying to control outcomes

Realize that there is another way. Take a step back and become aware of the struggle that you are engaged in. How does it feel? Are you getting what you want or becoming frustrated and discouraged?

Make a decision to detach It is not always easy to let go. Even when you do, you will likely want to jump back in. Make the intent to try another way. Pry your fingers off of your desires, breathe and let go.

Become comfortable with uncertainty and change. Once you let go, you will likely experience stress and anxiety. This is normal. These are the feelings that motivated you to try and control outcomes. Lean into the feelings and allow them to surface. As difficult as it may be, as you allow yourself to feel your feelings, they too will let go and dissipate.

Notice new direction. Take some time away from focusing on your issues and problems. Do something fun and relaxing. Make space for new direction to surface.  Feel the flow of new energy. Open your heart, mind and spirit and pay attention to signs, dreams and synchronisities

Follow though on new direction as it presents itself. Even, if it is not entirely clear or what you want. Stay positive and keep listening within and allowing yourself to be led. Trust what comes your way and take action when you feel as if you are being led.

There is a pervasive and all-knowing power of wisdom and love at work in your life. Steer into this current. Let go of trying to control the outer events in your life and trust what comes your way. Support and reassure yourself when the unexpected happens, that this too shall pass. Surrender to what is, conditions will right themselves. It is often through what does not work that hidden aspects of our authentic self come to the surface and we are led to a better good than we thought possible.   (from the book Discover Your Authentic Self)


Transforming Emotion into Intuitive Awareness

For those of you who sometimes feel besieged by emotions and feelings and perhaps wonder what the purpose is for all of this intensity, let me share some good news with you. Emotions help us to know who we are and what works for us. They help us to take care of ourselves, make positive choices and when we listen to them they are an expert guide to self-awareness. And, besides these more obvious functions, emotional energy can be used to increase and empower your intuition.

I was recently asked by a client who is confronting a possible lay-off from her job how to best deal with anxiety and fear.  Her anxiety is at times so overwhelming she feels crippled by it and unable to make clear decisions. The unknown often provokes strong emotional reactions. At times of change, whether it is in your career, relationships, finances, health or family, clear intuitive guidance can be invaluable. Unfortunately, like static on the radio or television screen, emotional energy can interfere with and negatively influence intuition. Although when in the midst of a crisis it might seem that transforming and using your emotions to access intuitive information is impossible, it is easier than you think.  Emotions are energy. Although we feel them as pleasurable, uncomfortable, frustrating or uplifting, emotions are not good or bad, emotions are simply energy.  It is possible to slip underneath our personal reactions and responses and use the powerful energy behind our emotions. This is not denying how we feel. It is instead fully embracing what feels like the good, bad and ugly of our emotions and harnessing their potent energy.

The following is an exercise (taken from my book, Love and Intuition), that will help you to use your emotions to increase your intuitive ability.

Even though this exercise can be done while you are experiencing intense feelings, it is best to use  it when you are feeling more calm and balanced. 

  • Think of a question for which like higher guidance. Write it down. For example:

            What is my best career choice?

             Will I ever meet a soul mate?

             What can I do to improve my relationship with _____?

  • After you have written your question, close your eyes and take a few long, deep breaths—in and out.  As you breathe, draw your attention within.  Then, remember a time in your life that evokes a strong feeling.  Recall a memory or event that stirs up emotion.  Accept whatever comes to mind.  Perhaps it was a time when you were disappointed, excited, elated or filled with grief.
  •  Bring to your mind and body the intensity of those feelings. The feelings are not positive or negative, they are just energy.  Feel them as energy. 
  • Next, feel the powerful force behind these feelings.  Imagine that this powerful force can easily move through you, releasing any resistance or obstacles that may be interfering with your ability to receive clear intuitive guidance. Instead of repressing the intensity of your emotions and feelings, detach and do not judge them as good or bad.  Instead accept their power and vibrancy. Imagine breathing this energy through your body from the top of your head through the soles of your feet.
  • Continue moving this energy through your body, feeling yourself filling with vital and potent energy.  Your feelings have now transformed to pure energy. You may feel a tingling or a subtle vibration as this energy moves through you.
  • Imagine the flowing energy as a stream of white light, and project your question into it. This white light has intelligence and compassion.
  • Listen and receive, become open to whatever guidance comes to you. Maintain this receptive state for as long as possible.
  • Use your imagination to create symbols, images, numbers, letters or words with the energy that you are intuiting.  You may experience an instantaneous knowing or gut feeling.  Do not judge or try to think about or understand what you are receiving, try to remain as open as possible.
  • When you have receive as much information as you feel is possible at this time.  Take a few deep breathes, and come back fully into your body.  Open your eyes, and without thinking too much about what you received jot down your impressions and information.

As above, take time to interpret the impressions you received, remembering that guidance may not appear immediately. Don’t be discouraged if it takes days or even weeks to fully understand the intuitive guidance you recieved.