Tag Archives: self-awareness

When Things Fall Apart

images-1Things fall apart. No matter how hard we try, not everything goes the way we hoped and planned. Even when we know that disaster is looming, we cannot always prevent it. People disappoint us and do things that we do not like. We may be comfortable, feel safe and secure in the day to day ups and downs that come our way and still a surprising and unexpected event can occur and turn everything upside down. Sometimes it is not a personal problem or issue of our own that causes us distress. A friend, partner, family member, co-worker, neighbor or your community or nation, confronts a misfortunate or challenge. Yet, we find ourselves as stressed and worried as if this problem was our own. Not being able to control or effectively change a situation for another can generate feelings of powerless.

Try not to blame yourself or others or become bitter when things fall apart. This is a part of life that we will never escape. No matter what you do, how safe you play it and how intelligent and competent you are, you will at one time or another experience unexpected change. Problems get solved, but only temporarily. Other or similar ones will crop up.

When misfortune knocks on our door and rattles us to the core, there may be little left of the life that we have known. Loss of a job, a devastating health condition, divorce, financial bankruptcy or the death of a loved one, not only changes our circumstances, they can also change the way we perceive ourselves. If we recoil in fear, we feel defensive and at the mercy of a cruel fate. However, if we make space in our lives to accommodate the inevitable, we can gain a sense of mastery and strength from our challenges.

When change comes your way, you can close down in fear or you can feel the depths of your emotions and allow them to soften you. Your safety and serenity does not come about by avoiding and controlling the flow of life. Instead, you can discover calmness in the midst of the storm by accepting what is happening and embracing your feelings.

Be in present time. When you find yourself, stressing and troubled by problems and challenges, breathe and acknowledge the good that is present and be open to perceiving what is happening with a new awareness and perspective. Don’t let your concerns for the future and pain from the past, cause you to imagine the worst. Take it one step at a time, being ever mindful that challenges call forward hidden, but potent aspects of your authentic self. Even though problems may initially seem overwhelming, you can discover a strength and compassion that you did not know you had. Distressing turn of events are often a calling card from your authentic self letting you know that you are capable of so much more than you may think.

From the book, Discover Your Authentic Self

authentic selfTake A Look

Transform Doubt

sun Behind every genius idea, act of courage, work of art, budding love relationship and step into the unknown, doubt lurks. Following an ahha moment where the clouds of confusion part and we see with clear awareness, there often comes a time of questioning. Self-doubt can make you feel as if you are inwardly divided and at odds with what you know to be your truth. Your creative, inspired and intuitively insightful spirit and your cautious, fear based ego mind seem to be at war with one another. Which one you listen to and act from, depends in part of your past experiences and your self-awareness.
Doubt traps us in a small and dark corner. A form of judgment, doubt arises when we expect certain outcomes. For years I wanted to write a book. I had a lot of ideas, but whenever I started to write them down, I doubted my abilities. I would torture myself with questions like: What if I failed? What if I spend months and maybe years writing a book and I cannot get it published? What if no one reads it or likes what I write? My expectations were high. If I wrote a book I wanted it to be, published, read and successful. Doubts plagued me.
Lacking the conviction that I could be a successful writer, I turned my attention to other areas. I devoted myself to becoming a better and more accurate intuitive and medium and increasing my clientele. I also worked part time as an art therapist at a treatment center for troubled youth. It was in this unlikely environment that my fears and anxiousness about writing was transformed. A large part of my work as an art therapist involved creating stories. To keep the young people engaged and participating I had to creatively dig deep. When they enthusiastically engaged with one of my tall tales, usually an outrageous and ridiculous one, I quickly wrote it down. Hopeful that the next class would also find it as interesting, I began to write without noticing that I was writing. No longer feeling pressure to perform and be successful, my relationship to writing changed. Writing, I realized, helped me to feel alive, vibrant and full of energy. It was a transcendent experience where all of me came together with passion and purpose.
The dread of publishers, others opinions and my own perfectionist self-judgment began to fade and be less important. Writing was no longer felt like a choice. I wrote for my soul, it was the elixir that I needed to feel fully alive.
If doubt is plaguing you here are a few suggestions
Take a break and get away from the project or issue that you feel doubtful about.
Do something that helps you to feel confident and happy, It doesn’t matter what it is. Go for a walk, play your favorite sport, listen to music, watch a good movie or go to a museum.
Be honest about your expectations. Ask yourself the following questions. What are my expectations? Are they realistic? Am I expecting too much of myself”
Be with others who love and encourage you.
Share your feelings with someone that you can trust and who is supportive. Be careful not to confide in those who may have their own doubts and a negative perspective. Learn how to take care of yourself and share your dreams with those who have followed theirs.
Be with those who uplift you and will love you for who you are.
Listen within, for what is right for you.
Spend some time alone. Listen to your heart and your gut. Ask yourself: “If I knew that I would succeed and that everything is possible what would I do?
Trust your intuition.
Make plans and take baby steps.
Write down a plan for what you would like to accomplish and experience. Break it down into manageable steps. Give yourself small daily and weekly goals. Celebrate your progress. It you begin feel doubt take a time out. Refocus on what you have accomplished and what your next steps will be.
Give it your all and remember that choosing the safe sure thing does not necessarily mean that you will be happy, successful or better off. You cannot control outcomes, but you can choose to participate in what brings you joy and what feels right for you.